A Father’s Love

A Father’s Love.

This stuck out to me, as I do run the Awareness Page, for all the me saying, To do this and do that, you know, behind every do our of love, the kind of love that will protect anyone’s child from this disease, I alone cannot teach your mind it is hard to comprehend on my part, the not knowing, on contrary, this epidemic is nobodies fault but ours, A CHOICE that we never ever knew would become this big, this bad and this bittersweet. This parent is speaking out, think about how many others are grieving over a lost one, a sick one, knowing that keeps me going.. I do believe many know by now we are in a HUGE PANDEMIC, and as I sit and say do something, It’s a must, When people say together we can, it’s a must, what is the must? Togetherness, it’s 100% more powerful to educate yourself and face anything when it comes to a human. Not everyone is the same, so as I move forward, which is we, because many, many ,many are aware and hurting. So, what I want to say, what message is being sent to a generation that comes out of college with a debt of 100,000, WOW, that’s a house , but those young adult children need to know, the same thing was for every generation, we , us , you them, God. All generations had a time that the mountain seems bigger than the will to climb over, the day is too dark to look out the window, The mind is an amazing thing. People need to know this.

Take a few steps back as I do, and find the passion, you will be amazed at the PAIN , feelings are made to be felt , not hidden. Talked about, not hidden, my Father told me, some things are better left unsaid. From that, i didn’t ask what, to all the things my father said, “You don’t know the half”, well now I know, I knew then I didn’t want to know, I said, and told him that. Some things are better left unsaid, but this disease took his child at 44 years of age, my brother, and it was not an overdose, he lost the will to live. as I watched him lose all, he didn’t really lose all, he had his family, maybe not all, and that does not matter, guilt alone killed him, he hurt and he damaged himself from this drug, but he overcame it, he had a zillion jack of all trade jobs, and this town, when he passed in that ambulance, They all cried their eyes out sitting at my parents, they knew the pain, it hurts, My brother was loved by this town. and for all the times so enabling and letting someone pass away with a system and one’s who have given up, Those are the one’s who need to know, It’s okay to not tell it all. but it is a must to help others overcome something that was created by our own ignorance.

The generation blaming is a huge problem, titles, diagnosis’s laws, policies, TRUMP.  yeah, good change coming, my President, not my Leader. change or not change, respect is earned, He doesn’t have any from what I see, and if we want change hey, maybe we need to be harsh, disrespectful and torn apart to realize we need to be us. not anyone else. Leaving us to at the end of the day, it’s ourselves, staring back.  This change will take time, and God will never give us too much to handle. or any way we look at it, we be happy or we look at a blazing yelling person who creates violence, the very violence our world worked hard on taming, the Roar’s are here, I am one of them , The Lion in my own Cause, with a huge more with me.

I don’t proof read, not yet. it’s too hard to read it over again,  I like to wait.

 

Linda Danforth VEnsel

 

This dad said this as he shared the loss of his 23 year old daughter, in an article, my word, God Bless Our world.

I knew nothing about heroin at the time but can say now in all certainty it destroys families, friendships, and takes everything in its path in a downward spiral like a tornado.

So Small, So simple, Slow Down , Sip Tea and Mingle

I live an interesting life, like most, I may have some errors in my spelling, that’s who I am, I may forget here and there and ramble a lot, after all, we were born to be together, Let’s show our generations, it is okay to cry, okay to feel, holding in is not real, The thoughts will haunt you, some things are better left unsaid, I feel that reaching out to the Community is crucial, let’s get the ball rolling , the fire started, and be peaceful with love, not hate. Together we can and will do what we are expected of, Amen, God Bless this world!

Welcome to my Blog , Awareness as need be. Rise and shine.. #Carryonwarrior #iamme #myvlogblog

Scrolling down my timeline…

So, early morning after coffee, and all other undetailed morning moments, I read God first, Our Daily Bread, that’s my go to book.. God First , I say.   Well then I think of the day and what will become, my mind sticks to the fact that as I am typing this, someone is more than likely being revived by a paramedic close by from an overdose of a synthetic drug that is so readily available, and this is who’s drug?

Who’s drug is ths heroin? Is it the devil, it sure is, are we feeding into that devil drug, the damage done, as a well knowns song goes. Needle and the damage done. Well, damage is done, but not everlasting damage, Our generation of blame, you know, as parents, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, grandmothers , grandfathers, did the best they new, so when I hear a young adult or any younger person think or actually older to think we ruined a generation , and for advocating for our children, NO, parenting does not come with a A-Z Encyclopedia, so for all who would like to play the shame, blame game, in my opinion, my brain, is a big NO-NO..

I do know that sometimes we all have questioning of our own doings, I do, and I will be the first one to admit that, but as far as blaming a generation that had to be quiet for 20 or 30 years. huh, it’s time, This is the beginning of a huge NEW GENERATION, and it needs to be the soft spoken, the pissed, the sad, the depressed, the anxious, the sick, the dead, the lost, because with those God is more powerful than that devil that is called HEROIN, Opiates if it makes it look better, remember that is not our drug, it’s the Worlds drug made by man to hurt other men, so all in all, where are we getting it? Why ? I don’t need answers , I need to see less blaming and more doing.

It’s not just me, when I say me, there is a shit ton of people that are 100%, in this for the passion, and that is God.  Things will never promised to be easy with life with a Higher Power, but the power behind it, is the part many won’t ever see, many are blind but wide awake, sitting back and saying, oh it’s sad, I have a few words for that saying, sad is an emotion, so if you think this is sad, God is calling you, if your seeing too many obituaries, look for the signs, you have a gift that needs to come out, we all do, i am not perfect, trust, I am human,

But for today, scrolling down my timeline, so anxious and sick to my stomach to know that as I am typing someone is overdosing, i have to face it, so in order for this to work, for us to grow, please share your gift in the human race, from a choice or mistake or lie , whatever it be.  That someone’s child is at risk, it’s our problem, do you all know why, It’s our legacy to leave behind, it’s our Pandemic, It’s our problem. and it sure is our CRISIS, the drug that will sweep you off your feet, and to this day, I still don’t know how it does it. but damn it is for sure the most horrific thing to scroll down and see the organizations, the moms, the dads, groups, pages, resources, i see broken , i don’t see togetherness, This is Facebook my friends and family,  let it not get to the point of where I look over at my computer and think, NO, NO, NO. it’s too much, it’s too sad, it’s too fake. it’s too real, it’s a movement… Move on, with your gift to give. I have..

Linda Danforth Vensel

Nephew of mine..

I would like this picture to speak for itself, This is at Sarah Claye’s home in Framingham, Ma. our ancestor’s from the 1600’s, land Judge Thomas Danforth.

Today for me

Today, I woke up in the recliner , just after last night saying, I am not able to sleep on the couch anymore because my back hurts, well, this is what goes through my mind, mornings are tough, the routine first thing when I wake up is a crucial time for me, just as a human.   It’s a matter of what the day I create will be.  as at the same time saying, how many people can I dodge today not to suck me into an unwanted reminder that I run the group of awareness, awareness of Addiction.

First, I run for the fact, oh, shhh, “is my little puppy” name Junior going to wake with me and boggle my morning so that the tiredness sets in before I take the first step onto the floor. Well, just as well say, 1 foot on the ground and one on the bed ,such as sometimes happens when one may drink too much and get the spins, Yeah, that’s me.

I don’t wake up ever feeling well,  It’s a given, it’s a norm for me now, I learned to settle for the one foot on the ground and one waiting for the next catastrophic simple thing as my happy faced pup getting in the way of being me.  Now, that I see this and saying it, A puppy , especially mine is the cutest ever, so yeah Wake up Junior, I need to see your face.  It’s a therapy. it’s not a thing, it’s not a distraction, it is my life. but I still know, reality , all too much, it’s so much bigger than a cute faced puggle pup.. I will show you his face and tell me, that how can one not smile and need this pup, big talk of therapeutic pups.  If I could train him to go everywhere with me, and could afford it , I would, but would it work to my benefit? , I am not sure, it’s not something that can be determined until it happens.

So, the computer, the cell phones, the,  NEWS, TV, real news, fake news, online talks, online negativity and online positive,  Being an administrator to a Facebook group,  is not my gift, I know it five times over . Others must know by now, Facebook and I do not get along , unless I get sidetracked to either find a good read , but it is usually straight to the source, no messing anymore, webpage, here I come, Facebook you not giving me the time of day to organize this mind.

I learned in the last 26 years and still will continue, to research, search , until the day I leave this earth to better fix the saying I feel helps us settle for less,  It’s the saying, “IT IS WHAT IT IS” , when I hear that, I get angry,   always have, why are we settling for the lesser one, why are we not saying we see what is , what is it that makes it better than just IS…  I hear that way too often, and when I grew up,  My Lord, God Bless , that would never be the choice of words for me to use, it’s a downgrade, it’s a we are and cannot do anything about it, there is always something to do about something, not everyone can, but if everyone said that, what would happen?  It is what it is, But that’s because society decides it is.

Getting off track a bit, I want to go back to the Facebook tragedy,  That is what it is because people are making that what it is. So as I step back our of the IS,  I will not contribute to a IS, it’s settling for less.  I don’t proof read, i speak as I come, so I will come back and be waiting or the typos corrected, as the mind of one reads my defects and knows there is room for improvement.

At the end of the day, that sweet puppy face. is what it is, it’s a thing,  I have used it as a distraction, but came to know that it’s a matter of how I look at things, learning to put both feet on the ground to stabilize the mind , body and soul, many don’t know,

Mind, body and soul ,  some don’t know how or anything about the mind, body and soul. we never will, until the stability within ourselves becomes one. and that takes time, time well spend alone even, many times alone, in darkness that nobody wants to see. I learned to turn the light on in darkness, Because that’s how I now see.

Even though I am not a recovery addict, am I, I am, it’s the same process with living with any illness, we all sit in a recovery stage, some stay, some pass, some are treated differently because  of the IS,   we together when they say together to me means, with the help of a stronger power,  no human without a power behind them of some kind just IS.

 

Linda Danforth Vensel

Worcester County Heroin Awareness #iwill

 

 

 

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Brand New Day

It’s raining outside, a dreary day it is, as I sit here listening to the drops of rain, along with the humming of the freezer, snoring of my husband, I decided it’s time to write. It is now 1:56 a.m. EST, and I should know better than to be up this late. You see, not many of us sleep well, either our mind is racing, or we are up reaching out to a generation of the misfits, as they say.  I would say to that our young adult broken and bent, we all at one point in our life felt like a misfit. Period.

Saying that it’s time to teach  each other, as they did long ago, let’s talk to strangers, say God if we want to, sing in the rain, cry with the pain, flow with the glow as we glare up to see the stars, and see the beauty, many don’t see stars, not the cities, I just learned that a few years ago. By a younger adult who had lived in the city and turned to me and said. “I miss the stars”, I had no idea the smog was blocking such beauty, on the other hand there is beauty within a city and on the sidelines.

Off to sleep I must go now, for this day is a new day that all our dreams could come true, we wake to face a world of Facebook. Internet, Faxing, and more technology, as I think to myself , I am typing on a computer, oh so easy, as my keys sometimes stick and pushing harder and what, no space bar or letter g, well it’s all good, many know that the softness in me, is from within my heart, I also pray you know, it’s had it’s share of the misfits. I am not a victim, I am human and learning all I can , leaving this small few hour sleep for now left about six  to start a new morning.

I look forward to going to bed, I sometimes think, oh yes, someone needs my help, learning that God has this, and he will call me in due time, to see the signs, the signs that lead me to life, signs of every day living, thriving , adrenaline rushes as visions of where he will lead me, you see 26 years now, it’s been living a chapter of finding me, I found me, the thing was, is I was always the same , I am aware now, I know when to say no, i know when to back down, and I am learning to let go, the anger within has to turn to Love, and that’s what leads me to my cause, the cause that has so very much touched my life, my family, my friends, Addiction, mental illness,  we are reaching out, grab a hand and help put a bit of hope or light into a life. we all are one, the movement has come.